There are sooooo many high spun bullshit stories about this married condition floating around on the web, that I got fed up with sorting the wheat from the chaff in finding a balanced link on the subject, (there ain’t one), so I’ve copied and pasted them all together in one place, but all without the namby pamby crap getting in the way:-

** Headline: The Origins Of The Words (Bride) And (Groom) May Have Been Downright Sexist.

Marriage, .. is one of the most loved and beloved moments of one’s life; unless you repent it at leisure later on. That statement alone demonstrates the great social institution that mankind has established, and it’s only been constructed to legally make babies, but the start of laying out the legal framework itself, can cost more than the newly weds house in some instances.

Lately, Facebook, and the other advertising platforms; have all been full of these wonderfully gooey wedding pictures with happy smiling prefect people milling all around, and all throwing confetti whilst joyously wishing the Bride and the Groom all their best wishes for the future.

** Had all these smiling happy consumers known the origin of these bride and groom words, the smiling happy people would have probably reacted very differently: definitely less sales as a result, would have been a definite result.

The thick ordinary happy smiling folk really don’t know any different, (they don’t want to), they are all happy to be subtly directed and prodded from behind by the greedy ad-men; pushing us all ever on, with the ongoing costs going ever upwards as a result, but all the perfect consumers do, is simply cheer along with the rest of the loudly cheering flock; a rowdy throaty cheer that goes something like this, .. baaa baaa baaaar!

If being an ad-man shepherd wasn’t a bad enough term of manipulation to chew-the-fat-over, the concept of “groom” is even worse, with various theories about the origin of the word to consider.

For a start, the word itself has the same root as the verb “groom”, .. and “Groom” (noun), means to take care of or to train something to be better.

** For example, a boss (a sensei), always grooms his successor, and Groom is always used in a masculine setting.

The word itself, comes from an old English utterance called guma — which sort of refers to a young servant boy who takes care of horses, but the word could also be thought of a young immature submissive male servant.

From that, some fluffy cloud thinking wayfarers would say that grooms are servants, who are meant to take care of their wives, – (Choke!) – Which means that every man becomes their wife’s servant after marriage! — (??) — Spit! – Not even I could spin out that outlandish bullshit to fit those fanciful wordy constructs, but there are jerks living out there in no-mans-land that have tried it.

Grooms are in charge of their charges, and are thusly charged with directing and controlling them as a result, (end of.)

More serviceable spinning ahead, there are some particularly weird theories about the origin of the word “Bride” as well, .. (another noun.)

** T’would be a good time to get mortally insulted about now, ..

The constructed utterance of bride, is said to have been originated from the Old English word “bru” which means to cook. In what maybe one of the most sexist origin stories of all time, bride manages to overshadow the latent sexism in the origin of groom.

Does it mean that a bride is someone who is only meant for cooking? (Love it.) If there are two opposite kinds of sexism at work here, does that house-cook concept cancel it out, .. and then mean that there is no sexism going on at all?
Or does it make it all the more sexist in nature, especially by involving the cooks; who are by default women throughout the ages, and always housewives!

Wife: meaning, a married woman considered in relation to her spouse, and! – A woman, especially an old or uneducated one.

History and Etymology for wife:-
Middle English wif, from Old English wīf; akin to Old High German wīb wife, .. and probably to Tocharian B kwīpe female pudenda.
** Running Addendum: you should really click the link above and read all about what that innocent little word means.

From man to woman, it’s a sexist journey, that starts with permitted sex in married, but only for a bride: the grooms been riding all his life.

Thanks for reading, Jessica: Praise be the ORI.